Know Thyself

I would love to be twenty years old again.  I would love to be thirty years old again.  I would love to be — well, never mind.  The point is I would love to be that age again — with a provision.  I want to be that age and have the wisdom and experience I have now.  There would be no end to what I could accomplish.  And fun?  I could have so much more fun than I did.  All that worrying about the future, jobs, health, kids, money, the state of the world — you name it, I worried about it.  I was a stay at home mother for several years.  I worried about getting dishes done, laundry done, meals cooked, grocery shopping done, house cleaned.  Whew!  Makes me tired just to think about it.  In time, I went back to work. Then I worried about getting there on time, (I live in a place with a lot of railroad crossings), and doing my job as well as expected of me, keeping up with the technology the job required and it goes on. Then the kids got an education and I quit.

I enjoyed the years my kids were young and I stayed at home. Being a stay-at-home wife and mother is a job, let no one tell you otherwise. But it is, like any job, satisfying, if you let it be.  I liked working at a job as well, getting up and going in to work with other people every day, the comradery and friendships and the sharing of your lives over coffee break. Bringing home a paycheck wasn’t bad either. But the day came when I could retire or keep working and I chose to retire and turn my attentions elsewhere, like husband, children and best of all grandchildren. Somewhere along there an old hobby reentered my life – writing. With some trial and error and a lot of encouragement from family and my writing group I finally, after all those years, found out what I was meant to do. My only regret in life is that I didn’t start writing seriously years ago. I guess the moral of the story is that there is always something out in front of us that can be a wonderful enhancement to fulfilling our dreams. So now I know myself, I’m a writer. Now I think about things like beginnings, plots, twists, characters and so on. In other words I’m still a worrier.